I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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