I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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