help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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