You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
