I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
