If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
