Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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