last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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