so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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