I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
