So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
