The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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