I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize