did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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