I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize