.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
