Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
