she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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