Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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