Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
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We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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