Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
