We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
