yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
