Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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