i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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