Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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