If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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