you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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