Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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