what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
