Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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