You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Damn victory sex feels great
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
