Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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