last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
