Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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