Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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