ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
