After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Randomize
