Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
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If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
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The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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