wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
