I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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