He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
