i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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