so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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