i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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