nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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