Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
