I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
