I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
