she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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