No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
