Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
