remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
