She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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