I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
