and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
