I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woke up backwards on a recliner
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize