i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
