And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize