just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
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She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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