how hairy? two words: wookie tits
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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