i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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