At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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