I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
