he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
